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Feb. 16th, 2005 @ 12:02 am The reality of life
Current Music: Liquid - Jars of Clay
There's a line in the movie version of "The Two Towers", where Theodin states "No parent should ever have to bury their child." Logically, this universal statement can translate to the college setting, where 18 to 20-somethings, in the prime of their life, should not die so young. Yet it happens far too often, between accidents, overdoses, and suicides, among other things.
I'm 5 days short of turning 21, and already I've seen too many of my peers pass from this world to the next. Back to back years in middle school, 2 girls were the victims of car accidents, one in the class ahead of mine and then one in my class. Throw this on top of another death of a fellow Scout, who was 2 years older than I, after my grade school graduation, and already death was starting to hit way to close to home for people at my age level. Even after I had entered high school, I found out well after the fact of its occurence that another of my middle school classmates had perished in a car accident. And yet none of those prepared me for what happened this past weekend.
As much as my rational mind may try to comprehend it, suicide will never make sense. It's just too hard, too complex, too depressing to imagine what could drive a person to such despair that the seemingly best option is the latter part of Hamlet's most recognized line. Equally as tough and impossible to do is imagining what some people who end up having to deal with a suicide in much more physical ways can be thinking. But in either case, all I can do in my position is pray that wounds may heal and pain be eased by God's divine grace and mercy. And know that life will just never be the same again for all us in one way or another.
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Jan. 19th, 2005 @ 03:47 pm (no subject)
Wow, it's really been 2 1/2 weeks since I posted here. So much for those California stories. You'll have to ask me about it in person now that I'm back in Chambana (and thus with classes). Upcoming semester should be good, will probably only come here if I'm bored, in a ranting mode, or just feel like telling the world my problems. Ciao!
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Jan. 1st, 2005 @ 02:01 pm (no subject)
OK, so I just got back from California, there'll be a post on that later. For now, I have this obligation to post. I normally don't do chain stuff like this, but hey, I felt like having fun.

+ Choose seven people off your friends list, but do not name their names. Have them guess which ones they are.

1. TAM, TA-TAM-TAM!
2. "He who stands by my side..."
3. A freaking genius with computers
4. The sibling who doesn't have me on his friends list
5. Is it OK to put the person who put you on their list first on yours?
6. The Golden Dome's philosopher of social interaction
7. The Invisible Man Guy



1. Reply with your name & I will write something about you. Who knows what crazy things I have to say!

2. I will then tell you what song[s] remind me of you.

3. I will try to name a single word that best describes you.

4. Put this in your journal.


Do this, or you'll have to deal with the killer rabbit from Monty Python! And I have no holy hand grenades to help you.
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Dec. 25th, 2004 @ 10:59 pm (no subject)
Merry Christmas to all! And to all, a good night!
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Dec. 22nd, 2004 @ 11:17 pm Things to do
People seem to be listing what they're going to be doing over break, and I'm unoriginal, so here's my version (ordinary everyday type items excluded):

1) Christmas! (Includes parties, Mass, and the giving/receiving of presents)
2) Bury the dead (notably my grandfather)
3) Visit CA (coincides with 2 and influences 4)
4) Go to the Silicon Valley Bowl! (That's right, a college football bowl game. My brother goes to NIU, and they have a real football team, unlike at Illinois, but hey, I can't complain about having the #1 basketball team either)
5) Read books (On the list: Harry Potter, specifically Chamber of Secrets and maybe Prisoner of Azkaban, Curveball (a book on baseball stats), Moneyball, and Catholicism and Fundamentalism)
6) Do what parents ask (that 4th commandment has its way with things)
7) Visit with the friends around town (from high school, of course)
8) Apply for internships (after grades come out)
9) Party like it's 2005 (and without Dick Clark this year!)
10) Chill with the coolest college crowd in the country, the students of the U of I!
11) Watch movies (includes finishing special features on extended edition LOTR:ROTK)
12) Play video games for once (ex. Grand Theft Auto III, Diablo II, SimCity 4)

Twelve seems like a good number to stop at for this list... so if I left anything off, you can probably fill it in if you know me!
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Dec. 19th, 2004 @ 11:14 pm I'm Back!
For all of you who worried about where I had disappeared to, fear not, for I have been able to return to the land of the LiveJournal. Blame 4 finals in 5 days for my sabbatical. Not that it was major crunching, but I just chose to study rather than post here (can you blame me for wanting to get freedom from academic probation?). Alas, the summary of my finals goes like this:

RLST 127 (Intro to Catholicsim) - Probably my best final, maybe able to swing an A in that class
LING 225 (Psycholingustics) - Did better than the Midterm, should get a B
LA ST 170 (Intro to Latin America) - Just hoping my essays don't get slammed. If they do, it'll be a B. If they don't, it's an A.
STAT 429 (Time Series) - Had to do better than midterm by a bunch, not sure if I was able to do that. Praying for B in class that I should've done a lot better in (especially since it is in my major)
STAT 425 (Linear Regression and Design) - Final was last week, seems like ages ago. Low A at best.

Regardless, I'm tired as all get out. And my head is stuffed like 90% of the world it seems. Alas, catch ya on the flip side.
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Dec. 8th, 2004 @ 10:33 am Stacks
Current Mood: working
So tend to organize myself in terms of stacking things together and then dealing with them. So, I was considering all the application-type things I have to do, and I realized there's quite a bit. Here's the list:

1) Internship applications (probably 2 or 3 of those to do right now)
2) Housing application for next year (do I really want to pay $8K for a single?)
3) Blood Drive report form for K of C (we should do one next semester)
4) Night of Knights nominations (2 of them for 2 fabulous gentlemen)
5) NFK 85 Application (I know I can only do Chapel Cover, it's just a matter of if I'm called or not)
6) Sacristan application (A tricky one, since I'm not sure about this)
7) Forms to change our Financial Secretary (I thought they were done, but shows what I know)

Oh yeah, did I mention I have 4 finals next week? And an exam tomorrow? Free time? What's free time?
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Dec. 6th, 2004 @ 12:02 am Reminders provided daily
Oh, how life has its own way of working! A few things that I've been reminded about over the last week or so:

1) My extended family rocks. 'Nuf said.
2) I could really use more money (Please State Farm... Help me out on this one!)
3) Patience is more than a virtue. It's like a final exam that just won't end until you die.
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Dec. 1st, 2004 @ 10:15 am More of Life's little lessons
Current Mood: nerdy
Current Music: "The Show Must Go On" - Queen
So, as crazy as this sounds, I learned a couple things over Thanksgiving break. Time for more of my inner "churchie" to come out.

1) We must always be diligent in our defending against falling to temptations. Any lapse in this defense is a door for evil to enter our choices.

2) Even when we feel completely abandonned from God because of our sinful actions, He still is there with us and able to work. Don't feel that He can't talk to you when you need reconciliation. God can do anything He sees fit.

Now, since it may take a few prayers, please pray that I find some form of employment for next semester.
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Nov. 24th, 2004 @ 01:22 pm Early Thanksgiving reflection
Since I won't have any time tomorrow to post this, I figured why not now.

Things I am thankful for in the past year (i.e. since last Thanksgiving):
1. God (it all begins with Him)
2. My family (and everything they do for me!)
3. Friends (in both high and low places)
4. School (hey, something has to keep me out of trouble)
5. K of C (c'mon, you gotta like Knnnnnnnn-iggits!!)
6. El Capillo Catolico de San Juan (mi iglesia en Chambana)
7. Advances in my vocational discernment (even though it was a PITA at times)
8. All the small things that make life go so smoothly
9. Anything else that I haven't typed that deserves thanks

Happy (early) Thanksgiving to all! And to all, a reminder to drive safely in wintry weather!
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Nov. 19th, 2004 @ 11:47 pm Winding down time
Current Mood: relieved
Current Music: "So Damn Lucky" - Dave Matthews
So I made it through the week, although I still have no clue who pulled the fire alarm and in some ways I think I may still be recovering from the lack of sleep over the weekend. 1 week, 2 papers finished, 3 hours travelling home, and now I've been home for 4 hours, but only with 5 of the 6 Mitchells present (AJ's still at NIU until Wednesday). 7 days until Thanksgiving (soon to be less than that in 8 minutes). 9 days of break from classes, which will be all so wonderful and maybe even give me a chance to watch Letterman's Top 10. Right now though, it's watching channel 11 (that's PBS, Chicago style on WTTW, your Window To The World). Then, with all the barrage of Christmas stuff starting already, you'd think we were celebrating the 12 days of Christmas already, especially with plugs for the lighting of the lights on Michigan Avenue (one of many reminders I'm back home in STC and the Burbs). $13 for my Mom and I to eat at Arby's is ridiculous, but that's the product of inflation and yet another "sign of the times" (I'm feeling older every day). Actually, it was probably close to $14, but I'm the one rounding, so whatever. 15 is how old my sister was yesterday. Today, she turned.... 16. And she got her license too, much to my surprise. This is going to be scary (told you I was feeling older!) And I've managed to tell about my day and count to 17 all in the same journal entry. Let the randomness end, the brain rest, and the Mitchiapet enjoy being home for the Thanksgiving feast. I may update again this week still, but we'll see what happens.
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Nov. 13th, 2004 @ 04:39 am (no subject)
It only took 2 and a half years, but the fire alarm finally got pulled while everyone was sleeping.

Mob justice will find you, alarm puller!
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Nov. 5th, 2004 @ 06:16 pm Ack....
Current Mood: loved
Current Music: "Accidentally in Love" - Counting Crows
Ok, so time to start with a quick story. I'm walking into mass, and I'm looking around trying to avoid sitting where I'm likely to be distracted by another person so I can focus on the mass. Well, I find my seat, then realize that what I was doing was a bit ridiculous since I wasn't focused on the Mass to begin with! ARGH!!! Dancing that fine line for setting limits is a pain in the rear.

Anyway, I just got back to my computer after dinner, and I take a quick peek at away messages. The first one I read just stopped me dead in my tracks. To quote what she had up there, which was an A.A. Milne quote from Winnie the Pooh: "If there ever comes a day when we can't be together keep me in your heart, I'll stay there forever." Now, I'm a softy for Pooh anyway, but this really hit a soft spot. So true, especially with some of the recent goings on in my life. I may have to borrow this and use it later...
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Nov. 3rd, 2004 @ 09:23 pm Ah, growing pains
Current Mood: pensive
Yep, they still exist. I may be 110 days away from my 21st birthday (yes, I am counting!) but I still have a ton of growing to do. Of course, the realization is still a bit harsh, as I'm still clinging to some of my old ways of thinking and handling things, but thankfully the matured methods are also able to take a hold and keep me from becoming an emotionally driven mess, which is what my immature self would do (see this past spring for examples). That whole idea of "Let go and let God"? Yeah, it's a pain in the rear to do, but yet I have to do it, and not just for my sake. I guess that just gives me extra motivation trying not to interfere and cause distraction in other people's lives (another thing I managed to do last spring). The hardest thing to keep in check though is the urge to dive in head first and help, which may not always be necessary, so I'm trying to hold back, survey the water depths, and then figure out how and if I'm going to jump in. Of course, that also means controlling that lock-up mechanism inside me that sometimes causes inaction. Oh yeah, did I mention I like overanalyzing everything? Needless to say, it all comes back to what my favorite prayer says:

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
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Nov. 1st, 2004 @ 08:36 pm Time for that really awesome beautiful post!
Current Mood: relieved
And iTunes is occupied with other things, so I'll get it all in!

Anyway, last week was a crazy week for me. Emotionally it was very taxing and my mind was occupied many a thing. Knights, school, personal, it was all just colliding together. I forgot about an exam on Thursday, but managed to do OK (I think), but I didn't finish it because I wasn't working as quickly as I normally would had I prepared. My Knights first degree had me really nervous, especially since we were a few guys short for the degree team. But, it was done really well and we had 11 new Knights join the Illini council (one word for that: AMAZING!). And the 75th anniversary is this weekend, so another insane weekend ahead. So, with all these worries on my mind, I set off to help at the Celebrate the Faith conference in Vandalia. Needless to say, a weekend away from Newman was in definitely in order. I spent the weekend selling books, half listening to some amazing talks (Rosalind Moss was my particular favorite, and I heard good things about Mother Mary Elizabeth but I didn't really hear most of that talk), and meditating on things in life. In my meditation, I was showered with grace from God, who totally told me that I'd be comforted and able to handle whatever I was worried about, particularly in terms of my personal life, where the bulk of my concerns lay. Anyway, time to get back to work!
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Oct. 31st, 2004 @ 10:54 pm Piece of crap iTunes!
Current Mood: drained
I had this really awesome beautiful post that was going to go here, but iTunes wanted to update and thus took it away from me. GRRRR.

I'll have to tell my stories later.
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Oct. 23rd, 2004 @ 12:47 am How do I explain...
Current Mood: melancholy
How do I explain tonight, the Knights-Newman Semi-Formal? Fun, for one word. Costly, for another. Good time had by all, but it was definitely on the expensive side. I just hope we get enough money from Vandalia to cover the rest of the bill. But, it is defintely something we will have to consider for next year when we try this again. One thing's for sure, it'll be less expensive.

How do I explain my relationship issues? Just when I realize I need to start reformatting my outlook on dating and pushing one girl away, another comes out that I have keep away (or so it feels like). Although it's not really pushing them away. Strange, yet it seems that I can control this one in many ways (getting by with a little help from my friends in Heaven). For one, keeping away from those situations conducive to the behavior which has caused some of this revelation. Praying so that God keeps me level headed is another good thing to do.

How do I explain anything? If I knew, I'd tell you.
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Oct. 13th, 2004 @ 12:01 am So I was reminded...
Current Mood: crazy
Yeah, I was reminded that I had this thing know as a blog, and that I should update it more often then every-so-whenever-I-feel-like-it. Anyway, here's the life of the Mitchell over the last 2 weeks.

One word describes how much I'm doing: craziness! Knights is work that just doesn't go away and unfortunately doesn't get done if I don't do half of it. The Semi-Formal is fast approaching, and the Hall Council is probably the only reason it hasn't completely imploded yet. They are covering my rear on so much. It definitely helped while I was on team for NFK 82, which was last weekend. My talk went well, and it felt wierd to have my Tuesday night again, but I enjoyed it. Well, I studied for most of it anyway. Exam tomorrow morning in my Intro to Catholicism class. But it shouldn't be that terribly bad. A challenge, yes, since it will be very detailed. But not bad. My other classes are going well, and my STATS exam came back with a glowing review. Of course, there's still lots of homework to be done, so I feel like I'm playing catch up with everything, including Knights. I need names for Vandalia by Friday, but I'll find them. And this has been nothing but a stream of consciousness out of my head. Now you might be able to understand why I'm nuts! Anyway, I need sleep!
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Aug. 23rd, 2004 @ 08:31 pm That feeling
Current Mood: nervous
Current Music: I'm the Man Who Loves You - Wilco
I hate when I get that knotted up feeling in my stomach. Drives me nuts, as it does the average person. Any focus that I have can be shot right out the window. And it's all because of the greatest fear I have: the fear of the unknown.

Of course, being afraid of the unknown does seem a bit random to a statistics major who was WAY better in Algebra than Geometry in high school. If unknown variables didn't scare, then why am I afraid? Well, that's an easy answer. In any of my math classes, there as at least been a semblance of a road map that you can use to sort of follow and guide your decision making. There's a problem when trying to use that in life: LIFE ISN'T LIKE ALGEBRA! Rules are so vague that you have to be creative in your solutions. And that is where I end up shying away from problems half the time. I worry, like many people do. But I'd rather keep from getting hurt and hurting others than stay in a situation that could ultimately end up as such.

The irony is that the thing that has my stomach in knots has probably caused a ton of hurt when I didn't intend it to do so. Of course, that's what happens when you don't think through your actions before doing them. Now I find myself needing to plead for another chance, and not even knowing if I'm going to be granted it. Talk about a pain in the ass! Or a knot in the stomach. Either way, it fits what is going on inside me rather well.
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Aug. 19th, 2004 @ 05:22 pm Back in the U-of-I-L!
Current Mood: optimistic
Current Music: Back in the USSR - the Beatles
So Ob-la-di, ob-la-da, life goes on, bra! I've managed to move myself back into my humble abode for the school year. Newman Hall is, as always, where the party's at (and we know how to work hard too). I came down here early so I could get a jump on a few things for the fabulous Knights council we have down here (of which I'm in charge of! EEK!) and not have to be whirlwinded around. Granted, I think I'm already sick of all the sororital "singing" (it sounds more like shouting and trying to hit a pitch but failing miserably), but hey, it's all part of life in the good Chambana. For those yet to return to the greatest university on the face of the planet (psst... that's my university!), I'll see you when you get here. For the rest of you who are elsewhere, remember: Have fun, but not too much!
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